The Ugly Truth

The entry below was really started the week I left to visit Sara and Brook in Santa Fe. While there, I was so caught up in relaxing and coming back a restful and peaceful state of mind that the stress of the weeks before started to roll off. That being said, as I sit in the Ft. Lauderdale airport waiting to board for Guatemala, I am reminded that in the past week I again, very easily slipped into unrest and stress. Particularly the last couple of days whilst I was finishing packing and attempting to say my goodbyes … thanks for putting up with me everyone (especially the fam!)

This propensity for unrest is common for most of us, but it irks me that it can creep up on me so unwontedly. Please pray for my heart that it can settle while gone. I want to go away physically, but more importantly I desire to remove myself mentally and spiritually from all of the distractions with which I normally am distracted. Now that I’m actually packed and embarking upon this adventure, of course I’m excited. I heard my flight announced in Spanish and started daydreaming about fluency ☺ But at some point this excitement will wear off, and I’ll need something much greater than my own determination to get through it. I need a truth that can make a statement such as this: “ I will never leave you, nor forsake you … Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1: 5…9)

So I leave you all to board my plane, and to check out some pretty sweet CR pictures in my absence. Hopefully I will be writing again soon!

Follow this link for the rest .... Costa Rica Kodak Gallery

The Ugly Truth


The name of a relatively crass (but ohhh so hilarious) movie, The Ugly Truth, starring the hottie from PS I Love You and Kathrine Heigal as well (who is also a hottie), is an entire movie showing how the truth can be UGLY at times. May sound silly, but I found the themes in the movie hitting me like a ton of bricks and stirring up a lot more than I’m sure the directors ever intended ….

Confession: the truth hurts. It can scrape, sting, and seemingly shrivel your sense of self worth and entitlement. By the truth, I mean fact, reality, or simply life. For myself, I must confess that over the past few weeks it has not been truth which has inflicted pain, but in fact the lack of truth acknowledged in my life .


I say this with a caveat, there is truth to be found in almost all aspects of my life. There is the truth that God loves me and has immeasurably blessed me with family, friends, and an amazing life. But there is also the fact that sometimes your soul likes to forget these foundational truths. Almost even ignores them.

For the past few weeks since returning from CR, I believe I did just that, I forgot the truth of where my contentment and peace has come from for the past several months. Even back in the summer, I knew I needed to prepare my heart and mind for the changes ahead and therefore I invested time in my soul, as well as eventually language preparation. But since coming back I had ignored that need to take that time to settle my heart and mind for the day, to be at peace with what God was doing, and to look ahead to the future. Instead, I focused on my daily tasks at hand, as well as spending time with those important to me, and of course just trying to grasp a sense of organization. All of these things are wonderful, again the fact is that organization, work ethic, and investment in relationships are important. But, in and of themselves, they are not full-filling. Which lead me to the inevitable break down at the end of the week where all of the traveling, packing, painting, ‘relational investment,’ disorganization, and having over 8 boxes of just clothes amidst all of my other crap; just got to me. I realized the whole week, I’d been on edge, anxious, impatient, tested some friendships, and just was unable to be at peace. All week I was fighting the fact that I was doing it all to myself. I had ignored the very truth on which I needed to ground myself and was instead relying on my own hard work and perseverance. I was essentially hurting myself: and that truth, that sucks. When there is no one else to blame but you, that is an ugly truth.

But again, another caveat. Just as hurtful and damaging as such truth may seem, the truth can also bring healing and life. When the truth of the matter is realized, there can be a restorative effect, one of hope and peace that transcends anything I had been able to will myself into for the past couple of week. When I take a step back (or have a tearful breakdown amongst friends) and look at the truth of God’s never ending peace in my life, that is a truth to which I know I must cling and one which can only become more apparent in this next adventure to come ….