Yo extrano ustedes!

Hola mis amigos!

I have missed writing to you all over the past 2 weeks! There is something about posting updates that makes me feel more connected to all of you whom I miss – I love how the basic need to share remains, yet the venue of the letter just keeps on evolving.

So, let’s see what has happened since then? If the period of silence is any indication, my days here have become fuller with more responsibilities and duties every day. Unfortunately I can’t remember too much of what I did two weeks ago , I think I spent a good amount of time working on the health project I’m trying to implement in the next couple of weeks. Except for the little babies, none of the kids have had health physicals in at least the last 2 years. And for some of them, I can’t even find any health records – something that I (and thankfully the powers that be as well) feel is a necessity for not only general reference, but their permanent files as well. Eventually I also want to combine this information with a nutritional assessment of the food provided and then contrast that with the physical findings (growth charts, etc …). I believe that this last week I was putting together the different forms I would need in Spanish, as well as formulating a formal proposal to give to the board, and potentially to use later in life (grad school?).

Most likely the reason for why I did not write two weeks ago was because at the time I was emotionally preoccupied – unfortunately with a lot of negativity. Every frown, pursed lip, or just general lack of acknowledgment from my house family; I was taking to heart and believing that I was the cause of it all. I kept internalizing all of it to the point where the stress level I felt in the house was physically making me exhausted. It all culminated on Friday morning where I was on the verge of tears at every moment and actually tried to ask my house mom in broken Spanish if she felt like I fit in the house. To make it worse, she responded that I needed to wait for her daughter to help the conversation along – just another reminder of how I didn’t belong.

Somehow by the afternoon things improved. I baked a cake with some of the girls for Mauricio's birthday party the next day (of which you will not see pictures seeing as though it went from being a pink cake to somehow a dark brown, required 3 hours to bake in the oven, and the butter for the icing tasted like plastic …. Not my best baking experience – but the little girls loved it!). After which I actually had a full conversation with my house mom, one which both of us understood and mutually enjoyed, and then ended the day by watching a movie with some of the peeps here who are around my age.

Ahh, and then I left for the weekend – so needed. My single, independent life has pretty much been put on whole for my time here; which means that 2 whole days to do whatever and whenever I wanted brought a huge smile to my face. Not to mention Antigua is beautiful, and well, the beach is always a pleasure. Spent Saturday and the night in Antigua, was up for the sunrise (unfortunately it was hidden behind the fog!), and then took a shuttle (which really means a 2 hour ride in a van over half paved/half dirt roads) to Monterrico – the beach. Due to all the volcanic activity in Guatemala, Monterrico is a “black sand” beach. But I must say, it had nothing on the beauty and depth of color which I saw on the shores of Costa Rica. Sorry Guatemala, you have other cool natural beauties.

I returned late Sunday night, tired due to the different activities of the weekend, but excited for a fresh start and a new week. Anna Louisa and I even spent some time together in prayer for the week and los ninos. Unfortunately Monday I was right back to my emotional instability. I actually was gone for most the day visiting a clinic in Chimaltenango with one of the doctor’s who volunteers here about every other week. The experience was good, not too informative about the culture in this particular region, but an interesting day of skin and hair issues nonetheless (he’s a dermatologist). When I returned, I was thrown off by a series of events that left me again feeling left out and forgotten. However, every other Monday’s we have staff meetings, which - even though they are long and seem to take forever – I enjoy. It’s nice to be with all the other staff/volunteers sans kids for a night and feel apart of something bigger than wiping butts every morning. Anyway, I mentioned some of my frustrations to Sara during the meeting and let that be the end of it for the night. Amazingly, the next day proved to the start of encouraging communication and interaction for the rest of the week.

This week I have had interest, smiles, and even hugs from my house family – it has been amazing. This coupled with steady nursing duties everyday has brought pure joy to my soul, making even my weekend on enjoyable. Tuesday I had a normal morning and then upon coming home for lunch in the afternoon, left promptly for a doctor’s visit with 3 of the kids that somehow lasted about 5 hours. Then Wednesday I ended up taking one of the older boys for an x-ray (he had injured his foot on Sunday night and it just was not getting better). Positive fracture confirmed, at which point we had to figure out if he needed a cast or not. Biggest accomplishment for the week: I explained and conversed about the fracture with a doctor at one of the local clinics near the orphanage – and all in Spanish! Then on the Thursday the dermatologist, who also does general stuff as well, visited and somehow all of this sick kids magically appeared! We ended up putting a plaster cast on the kid with the fracture and I dispensed a lot of meds for the next week – it was good to put some of my nursing skills to use. Hmmmm, Thursday was the despida (send off/talent show type thing) for the leaving American group. Then Friday night I was able to go to youth group – great way to get to know some of the older kids. Which then brings us to my weekend on which has somehow flown by as well. Saturday morning I went to the doctors again for toenail removals … gross. But I at least was able to head to Eperpais (Wal-mart) afterwards – I covet these times to interact with the outside world!

So that brings us to now, Sunday night, 9:05, and my body is craving sleep, trying to forget the 5:30 wake up call to come very soon. However, reviewing the events and emotions of the week is always beneficial. If anything I have realized that internalizing the emotions and moods of others is often misleading and detrimental – and unfortunately due to my constants desire to please, and be pleasing to others, this lends itself to doubt and despondency. Moral of the week(s), self-confidence is misleading. My confidence needs to be based in One much greater than me.

I have some other thoughts to share later about some of the kids stories I’ve begun to learn, but I’ll save that for the end of the week. Hopefully I’ll be heading out for the weekend. Need to plan that soon I guess. Alright, love you guys, check out my random hodge podge of pics from the past couple of weeks. Hasta luego!